Breaking the Habit Loop and Building New Ones That Stick
Ashley Latendresse • March 28, 2025
We've all been there, setting out with determined intentions to change something about our lives, only to find ourselves right back where we started just weeks (or even days) later.
Whether it's committing to a regular workout routine, eating healthier meals, or reducing screen time, changing habits can seem like an uphill battle.
Why is it so tough to break old patterns and establish new ones? More importantly, how can we make these new habits stick?
Let's explore the psychology behind habit change, the hurdles we encounter, and how to successfully create lasting new habits.
Why Changing Habits Is Challenging
The first thing to understand is that our brains love routine. Good or bad, habits carve out neural pathways deeply ingrained over time.
These automatic behaviours, like reaching for a snack when stressed or checking your phone first thing in the morning, feel comfortable and familiar. Your brain loves shortcuts to save energy, and habits are among those shortcuts. This makes it hard to steer away from those well-worn paths.
Additionally, humans are creatures of comfort. Change, even for the better, can be uncomfortable. Imagine deciding to wake up at 5 a.m. to exercise every day when you've been used to hitting snooze until 8 a.m. for years. That immediate discomfort can tempt you back into a cozy bed, no matter how much you want to get fit.
And then there's the matter of willpower and motivation. We often start new habits brimming with energy and enthusiasm, but over time, that initial spark fades.
Willpower can only carry us so far, especially when stress, exhaustion, or unexpected challenges come into play. That's why understanding the deeper reasons behind your habits and the science of behaviour change becomes crucial to making lasting changes.
How to Start Changing Your Habits
The good news? Breaking habits is difficult, but not impossible. In his award-winning book Atomic Habits, James Clear explains that it all starts with the first step, and no, it doesn't need to be a giant leap.
- Focus on Tiny Changes (1% Improvement): Clear emphasizes that small, consistent improvements lead to significant results. Instead of trying to change everything at once, focus on improving by just 1% each day. These small wins will build momentum over time.
- Set Clear, Achievable Goals: Saying, "I want to exercise more" is too vague to act on. Instead, be specific. "I'll go for a 30-minute walk every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 7a.m" gives you a concrete plan to follow. You'll know exactly when and how you'll take action.
- Change Your Environment: Environment design is key to changing habits. Supportive surroundings make it easier to stick to new habits. For example, if you want to stop eating junk food, remove unhealthy snacks and replace them with healthier options like fruits and nuts. This makes choosing better foods easier.
- Habit Stacking: This technique involves linking a new habit to an existing one. For example, If you want to practice mindfulness, stack it onto something you already do, like making coffee. “After I pour my morning coffee, I will take three deep breaths and focus on being present.”
- Focus on Identity, Not Outcomes: To change your habits effectively, concentrate on becoming the type of person who embodies the desired behavior instead of just the outcome. For example, say, "I’m the kind of person who runs regularly," rather than "I want to run a marathon." This identity shift increases the likelihood of sticking to habits that align with your self-perception.
Tips to Help Maintain New Habits
You've started making changes, so how do you keep the momentum going? Here are some strategies to help you stay on track:
- Use the Two-Minute Rule: Most habits can be scaled down to something that takes just two minutes. By lowering the barrier to entry, you make it easier to stay consistent, even on tough days. For example, if your goal is to read every day, start by reading just one page. If your goal is to exercise, begin with two minutes of stretching. Over time, these small efforts add up.
- Focus on Consistency, Not Perfection: It's more important to be consistent than to be perfect. Missing one day is not the end of the world, but two missed days in a row can disrupt your momentum. Always try to maintain your streak.
- Review and Adjust Regularly: Habits should evolve as your life does. Take time to review your progress and make adjustments if necessary. What worked when you started may need tweaking as your goals or circumstances change.
How Long Does It Take to Form a New Habit?
The myth suggests it takes 21 days to form a habit, but it often takes longer. Research indicates it can range from 18 to 254 days, with an average of about 70days. If you don't see immediate results, don't panic, it's normal.
Changing habits is tough, but entirely possible with the right approach. By understanding why habits are hard to break, starting small, and maintaining consistency, you can successfully create new, healthier habits that stick.
What habit do you want to change first? Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Stay patient, be kind to yourself, and watch those small changes accumulate over time.
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With the snow melting and the days getting longer ( yay! ), many of us feel a natural urge to clean up our homes; sweeping out dust, decluttering closets, and welcoming in fresh air. Spring cleaning is a ritual of renewal, a way of creating space and bringing in light. But have you ever thought about doing the same for your mind? As April is Stress Awareness Month, it’s a perfect opportunity to check in with yourself—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. While we often focus on the things we can see and tidy up around the house, the mental and emotional clutter we carry can be just as heavy, if not more so. What is Mental Clutter, Really? Mental clu tter is all the “stuff” in our minds that distracts us, drains us, or leaves us feeling stuck. It’s the internal noise of unfinished to-do lists, looping worries, self-criticism, unprocessed emotions, or even the pressure to keep it all together. Some signs of mental clutter might include: Feeling overwhelmed or scattered Difficulty focusing or making decisions Overthinking conversations or past mistakes Constant mental to-do lists A sense of emotional fatigue—even when you’ve had “down time” If any of this feels familiar, you’re not alone. We all accumulate mental clutter from time to time, especially during stressful periods or when life feels busy and nonstop. The Connection Between Mental Clutter and Stress When our minds are full of disorganized thoughts, worries, and unresolved emotions, it keeps our nervous system in a state of high alert. You may not feel “panicked” per se, but your body might be operating as if there’s a low-level emergency all the time—what we sometimes call chronic stress. And the thing about chronic stress is that it’s sneaky. It builds gradually, often without us realizing how much we’re carrying. Over time, it can show up as sleep issues, irritability, burnout, brain fog, or even physical symptoms like headaches or muscle tension. By bringing awareness to our stress and taking steps to reduce our mental clutter, we give ourselves space to breathe, focus, and feel more grounded. 5 Ways to Spring Clean Your Mind Just like physical clutter, mental clutter doesn’t go away on its own. The good news? You don’t have to overhaul your entire life to make a meaningful shift. Here are five approachable ways to clear some space in your mind this spring: Name What’s Taking Up Mental Space Start with some honest reflection. What’s been on your mind lately? What’s bothering you beneath the surface? This might be anything from work deadlines to emotional pain you haven’t had time to process. Try writing it all down without editing or judging. Sometimes simply naming what’s there helps you feel more in control. Try a Daily “Brain Dump” At the end of the day, give yourself 5–10 minutes to unload whatever’s lingering in your mind—things you need to remember, thoughts you’re ruminating on, or feelings you haven’t addressed. Writing this down helps your brain feel like it can pause, knowing nothing important is being forgotten. It’s a small practice with a big calming effect. Cut Down on Mental “Noise” In today’s world, we’re constantly consuming information—news, emails, social media, podcasts. It adds up quickly. Try setting gentle limits on screen time or giving yourself “quiet hours” where you step away from digital inputs. Even small shifts, like muting notifications or taking a social media break, can reduce background stress. Challenge the Inner Critic Mental clutter isn’t just about tasks and worries—it can also include the unkind voice in your head. Notice when you’re being self-critical or catastrophizing (e.g., “I always mess this up,” “What if everything goes wrong?”). When you catch these thoughts, try gently questioning them. Ask: Is this true? Is this helpful? What would I say to a friend in this situation? Make Room for Stillness It doesn’t have to be a long meditation or fancy mindfulness practice. It could be as simple as pausing for a deep breath, sitting outside for a few minutes, or sipping your coffee without scrolling. These micro-moments of stillness help reset your nervous system and allow your mind to catch its breath. When You Need More Than a Reset If you’ve been feeling mentally cluttered for a while and can’t seem to find relief, it might be time to talk to someone. Therapy offers a space to sort through what’s been building up, explore the deeper sources of stress, and develop strategies that support your mental well-being in a sustainable way. Think of therapy like mental spring cleaning with guidance—it’s not about being perfect or “fixing” everything. It’s about giving yourself the time and space to clear out what’s not serving you and make room for clarity, connection, and calm. Feeling Ready to Clear Some Space? If this post resonated with you, let's talk. Therapy can be a valuable space to slow down, sort through what’s on your mind, and find practical ways to manage stress with more ease. If you’re feeling mentally cluttered or simply ready for a fresh start, I invite you to reach out. Schedule a free consultation to explore whether therapy might be a good fit for you!
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